Many of us come to therapy because of trouble feeling our feelings. We are blocked emotionally or creatively. Some of us may have trouble sleeping. Some may be suffering because of feelings of isolation or alienation, while others aren’t finding pleasure enough in sex. Whatever the nature of the complaint, as we delve beneath the surface, we will most likely find the fear of falling apart at its core.
Most of us weren’t taught how to give up control of ourselves. In fact, most of us have learned that giving up control of ourselves is wrong, or a bad thing to do, and we’re terrified of the very thought of it. Therefore, we invest a great amount of our energy into holding ourselves together, holding on to our feelings, and into controlling our impulses.
Some of us succeed so well we lose touch with ourselves-sometimes falling into depression and despair. Others among us partially succeed at holding everything in until we are swept up in a flood of emotion or an angry explosion. Some rebel against the very notion of control, raging all over the place, losing friends, marriage partners, jobs, and credibility.